He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
She needs sedatives and a leash
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
