You're so nebulous sometimes
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
