The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
