id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
