Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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