Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
