Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
