GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
