So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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