drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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