Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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