If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
