but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
