Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
