And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
