i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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