I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
