You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
