Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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