Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
