gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
