His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
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