My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
My ass is underappreciated
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
