u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
