"it" just moved
I feel great
I just peed on a car
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
