so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
