he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
