your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
