tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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