Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
