so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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