update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
