I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
What happened to fro yo and sex?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
