He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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