what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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