jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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