"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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