During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
she pinky promised me she was 18
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
