okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Randomize
