True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
