I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
there's paper in my vomit.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
