Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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