she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
