left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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