she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
