She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
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