Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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