$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
