I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
