at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He better not be in your backpack
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
