Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
