Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
