I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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